A collection of EO
by S.carlett V.on U.ttenburg
Summary: I'm gonna use this as my collection of EO shorts. New Chapter "Uncrossed"
1. Godsend

**AN: I know you're all gonna hate me for being such an EO pissy pants but I can't help it. I write when I happy AND when I'm sad. The song is "Bittersweet" by Sara Bareilles. Great frigg'n song! I'm addicted to her CD's right now. If you like chick music- with a hint of Indy sound, you'll love it. **

**Godsend**

Olivia walked out of the hospital doors and looked up at the sky. November was taking its' last cool breath as December's snow storm hung in the thick shapely clouds. She couldn't define how she felt, but she knew something inside of her had changed. Something inside of her was warm and soft. She was accepted. She felt as if she'd finally belonged to something. The trance of being reborn and admitting to pent up realities was not an easy path to take. And there she stood waiting for her feet to catch up with the things she'd just overcome.

_**Bittersweet seasons. Mistake a warm winter for spring.**_

_**Seems like I'm best at leaving when leaving is not the best thing.**_

_**You couldn't help it if you needed more than I could give**_

_**That's just the way it goes.**_

Through the grey early night she headed for a cab. Down the sidewalk, past the car lights, and to the edge of Broadway Ave and Home. It seemed like everything she'd felt before this moment was meaningless. All she knew was that if he was her one sweet love and this was the end, it was time well spent.

_**I call you misplaced but never a waste of my time**_

_**Everybody's gonna make mistakes**_

_**But you'll never be one of mine**_

All of the times they'd pushed each other away, and for what? Shame. Jealousy. Pride. That was just their façade, but deep down they both knew that all of those things could never really matter. Olivia opened the door to her building and for a moment the memory of hot tea and concrete stairs brought her to the grief of what could have been.

**Flashback**

"You hungry? You want to get something to eat?"

"Sounds good. Who's buying?"

"Well you do have four kids and you are getting a divorce, so I guess… you are."

"That's what I thought."

He pulled her from the stairs and they walked to the diner on the corner of Elliot's block. "The Deluxe."

"Fancy," Olivia smiled. She grabbed the door and held it open for him, but he refused to allow it.

"I know you're not much of a lady, but don't scar my ego before we've even had a chance to look at the menu.

"I didn't know your ego was so sensitive."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me."

She turned and smiled with her signature nose crinkle. "Question is, do I want to know?"

Elliot pulled at the belt loops of his jeans and sniffed with sarcastic pride. "Don't play coy with me, Benson, I know your tricks."

The evening lasted for hours just like this. He'd throw her a line and she'd catch it with ease. When the time came to an end Olivia found herself sleeping on his couch and nervously panicking that she would find herself losing it all. Before the sun could bring light to awkward silence and his morning routine, she folded up the blanket and wrote a quick note. "Thanks for the dinner and your couch. See you at 8. Liv"

A hero to the world. A coward to herself.

_**You couldn't help it if you needed more than I could give**_

_**That's just the way it goes.**_

_**I knew you felt me leaving long before I ever did**_

_**That's just the way it goes now.**_

Yet, she had no reason to feel scared of Elliot greeting her past or witnessing her ugly sides. If anybody could handle the real side of Olivia Benson it was him, but again she ran.

_**Loved me fearless when you needed to**_

_**You would not rest till we came through**_

_**So God bless and thank you.**_

**Flash to present time.**

Olivia closed the glass door to her building and headed to the warmth of her apartment. That fuzzy sick feeling of the beginning of an end was not an unfamiliar condition, but this was the first time she'd welcomed it. She unlocked the door to her unit and stood looking at her empty kitchen living room combo. Thoughts of Kathy and the touch of their child came over her like a warm blanket. All of the regrets she may have felt for loving Elliot washed away when she held his other halves to her heart.

And with that thought of happiness came an overwhelming need to remain a part of it, no matter what form their love was made to be.

_**There is no anger it's just you and I and the truth**_

_**You can try to make us but love will not be forced to bloom. To bloom.**_

**Flashback**

"Okay," he breathed, releasing his walls and pulling her closer to his heart than she'd ever been.

And she wouldn't exchange that feeling that he gave her in that one moment for anything in the world.

_**You couldn't help it if you needed more than I could give**_

_**That's just the way it goes.**_

_**The only love worth fighting for is one that you can win and**_

_**That's just the way it goes now.**_

**Flashback**

"So what are you gonna do?"

"What's that suppose to mean," he said to her with disdain.

The door of silence slammed in her face. They were both beginning to build a tolerance to it. And it didn't seem to matter what she did to bring him back, his silence was like thunder and his heart would not sway.

"I'm a big boy, I can handle it."

"Please let me help you," she cried.

_**You would not break but you could bend**_

_**And for love's sake you let love end**_

_**But I still swear that you were God sent**_

**Flash back**

"How's the baby?"

"Good!"

He was beaming. She could have basked in his light from the other side of the world that's how complete she felt knowing he was happy. And he gazed at her like a teacher would a pupil. Only instead of patting her on the back he fell to her unconditionally, like a child would it's maker.

_**And you stood before me knowing that the wings i have you gave**_

_**And that's just the way it goes**_

His arms. His comfortable, fitting, strong arms held her so tightly. She would stay in his arms for all of eternity if the world were inclined to allow it. It wasn't about the lose of one sweet love, but the gain of life and all that it brings to you when you're blessed with such friendship.

_**And I barely have the breath to breathe much less to fly…**_

**Flash to present**

Olivia walked over to her dresser and pulled the hidden photo of the two of them out of her drawer. Their first under cover job. Fin clicked the shot just as they playfully grabbed each other in a silly embrace. She walked to the living room and stared at her pictureless apartment. Her lonely famililess apartment.

_**And a silence entered the room for a one last**_

"_**I'm gonna love you," **_she said to herself as she placed the photo in the center of the coffee table where everybody could see it. For the first time in her life she couldn't find the need to run and she felt whole…complete. Like she'd been given a gift and the gift was hers to keep forever. No questions asked.

_**So God bless and thank you.**_

When one's heart can push it's hunger a side for the well being of another's...a true selfless act can be witnessed. Olivia had no anger to hid, and through an act of god or circumstance she willingly accepted the role she was meant to play. She was a true hero for that. A saint. Elliot's dark curtain fell away from her eyes and she was ready to let all of her fears go. _**  
**_

_**God bless and thank you.**_

AN: Okay I know I'm just killing all of you shippers out there and I am a tad sorry, but I had to go with the feelings. I'm not against EO or even abadoning the idea of it, but somethings to be said about the choices made last night. It was braver than a kiss.


	2. Uncrossed

**I'm going to start using this story as a mixture of my random EO songfics. They all kind of fall under "Godsend" but they will not necessarily be connected to each other. **

**That being said----Che? What? I'm not updating "Kathy"? I know you're all gonna hate me for not adding a new chapter to "Kathy the EO Killer Zombie" - I mean, "WWH2KK…Again", but I'm busy and I just got Rockband and the song "Maps" by the Yeah, Yeah, Yeah's is on there- And I HADDDDD to EO-ify "Maps". I know-I'm such a sell out for having and Loving Rockband, but….it's strangely fun and addicting….AND my husband bought it….I swear!!!!! And I'm really kind of..mmmmm… intoxicated at the moment, and trust me---"Crumbly Puss Kathy, the Bastard making EO Destroyer" will end up a big Scooby Snack mess. SO really- you'll enjoy this bit of short EO in the meantime. I promise. **

** For those of you who have NO idea what I'm talkign about - Go check out "Why We Had to Kill Kathy" and it's sequel. It's good times. **

** Anyway, I will update, "La Kathy", my Signoras, in the next few days, until then, enjoy this little EO short.**

**And Grazie!!!! He heheheheh giggle, I'm learning All'Italia for this play I'm in. It's really fun. **

**Uncrossed**

"Well Detectives, looks like you solved another case. It's lucky you kids stopped by. I never would have guessed Old man Whitaker was behind all of this."

Elliot laughed as he sat back in the wooden precinct chairs. His eyes were glazed over and a tuft of hair stuck up from the top of his head.

Olivia turned from the coffee station. "Oh no, not old man Whitaker!"

Elliot smiled lazily in her direction. "Yeah, that mask gets me every time."

"If only it were that easy."

"Right."

Olivia made her way to the black office chair and wheeled over to the small TV screen. The Scooby Doo ending credits rolled down the screen and they both sighed in a nostalgic manner.

"It's dead tonight," Olivia yawned as she took a glance at her watch.

"Yep."

"You know the phone will ring an hour before our shift ends."

"Yep."

Elliot stretched and leaned over towards her. He looked up at her through red tired eyes. His stare was capturing, though. He held onto Olivia with an almost tender glow.

"What," she said with a nose crinkle blush.

"I was just thinking. You ever get high?"

There she was falling into his eyes and he was thinking about Pot and Scooby Snacks.

"No."

"Never?"

"No, I'm a clean cop, Stabler."

"You went to college. You had to have done it at least once."

"Have you done it?"

"A few times my senior year of high school. My older brother forced me to do it so that I couldn't tell on him."

Olivia laughed and shook her head. "Forced or enabled?"

"What," he reacted. "You gonna judge me now?"

"No, that's not my title."

"What is your title?"

His face was suddenly closer than she remembered it being. Long nights tended to bring out odd behavior. As much as she wished she could ignore it or believe it was something else, she just couldn't. Anything else would be better than the nagging need to be near him.

Yet she had no resistance when it came to Elliot Stabler. She held her ground and flirted back. "I cease and assist, Detective, so I'm surprised you just admitted that to me."

"Why? You gonna tell on me?"

"I might. I might tell everyone I know. In fact, I might tell your kids. Papa Stabler, smoked a dooby. Ha ha! I can't imagine it. And I really can't believe you're telling me about it. I know we just shared some cartoon network, but I was not expecting adolescent flashbacks."

He got up from his chair and threw her a pouty face as he strutted toward his desk. She loved when he was tired and pouty.

"You should feel special. I've actually never told anybody about that joint."

"Not even your wife?"

Elliot unwrapped a hot pocket and placed it in the office microwave, without a second thought he kept on talking. "Liv, you know more about my dark secrets than anyone I know."

"Really? That's not what the woman at immigration told me."

"OH," he blushed. "You are something else. A guy goes on one date and he never lives it down. I'm just damn glad you're not into black mail."

"How did you know I was taking up a new hobby?"

They laughed and Elliot stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders.

Olivia fell into a buzz of emotion. She was only glad that he couldn't see her face. Her eyes alone would have given her away.

"You know Liv, if I wasn't…

**Oh say, say, say;**

**Oh say, say, say;**

"….if you and I had met…"

**Oh say, say, say **

**Oh say, say, say;**

Olivia grabbed his hand and turned to face him. "…in high school, you would have…"

**Oh say, say, say;**

For a moment they held onto each other. Eyes locked. Hands touching.

"Made you try the weed. Hell yeah," he said nervously and pulled away.

Olivia took in a stilted breath. Her heart was beating wildly from the thick of her neck.

"I would have kicked your ass," she wearily laughed.

He opened the microwave and tossed the hot rectangular pizza roll in his hand as he sat next to her for some more Adult swim.

"Don't want to give you the wrong idea. It's not that Kathy and I don't talk, it's just different."

**Wait, she don't love you like I love you;**

Her thought was too late. Even as he finished the sentence she could see that the moment had passed..for him anyway.

"Yeah," she mumbled.

**She don't love you like I love you;**

"Kathy's good for a lot of things," he continued.

As he said her name with his mouth was full of cheese and pepperoni, she couldn't help but watch him speak and design her own thoughts of him using her name in the same way he used hers. She couldn't get enough of his lips forming just enough pout as he chewed. Nor could she stop her self from watching the rise and fall of the muscles in his neck and chest under the tight NYPD t-shirt.

"…but she's not into guy talk and goofing around. Cartoon Network is a channel that only gets turned on for Dora and Sponge Bob Square Pants. God, Dora. Talk about annoying. I'd trade her for Barney any day. What happened to him?"

He just kept on talking as he stuffed his face and watched the television. For most women this would have been a turn off but for Olivia it was the closest thing to home.

"Plus, you get the fun of a jesting 'burn'. If I were to burn Kathy, sex would be held against me for weeks at a time. Want a bite?"

Elliot waved the hot pocket in her direction.

"No thanks," she almost silently answered. It was as if the words were foreign.

"That's not weird for me to say is it," he asked as he noticed her wrinkled expression.

"No," she said blinking away the thoughts.

"See, you get it."

He stood up again and passed her brushing her shoulder as he walked.

**Wait, she don't love you like I love you;**

"Where you going," she yelped pitifully.

**Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aps;**

Elliot looked at his watch. "Midnight. I should call Kathy. She just woke up for Eli's feeding."

**Wait! They don't love you like I love you.**

"Okay."

"You know how she gets if I don't fill her in on my every waking minute."

**Wait! They don't love you like I love you.**

**SCENE**

"I didn't know you were dating again."

Olivia fixed a gold earring into her ear and flipped the stray piece of hair away from her face as she hung over her desk.

"Dating. I guess that's what you call it. Recently I've been calling it dinner, but this guy has been promising so far, and he's got a nice butt, so sure…a date wouldn't be an offensive term at this point."

Elliot smiled. He watched her click ferociously over her computer. She talked about her planned night as if there was nothing to it. He could never enjoy the idea of a date and especially after his separation, he held a shred of pity and respect for knowing that she'd decided to be put under that kind of pressure again and again. Her wide eyes were fixed on the lit screen in front of her, and her skin changed with the glow of computer light. He realized that seeing her in the slinky black dress was the first time he'd seen that much of her skin in a long time. Years even. He'd almost forgotten how attractive she could be and how feminine she actually was. She caught his stare and he jumped from the thought and grabbed a pile of messy files like he was heading for the filing cabinets. A bead of sweat formed near his temple.

**Made off;**

**Don't stray;**

"Okay, I'm out of here. Tell Kathy I said hi."

"Will do," he smiled. "Have fun, take one for the team."

"Hey, thanks there Coach, I'll think of the team when I punt that home run for yeah," she jested.

"You do that. Be safe." The need was written all over his face, but he held a smile. Taking one for the team. She didn't seem to notice as she ready herself to leave.

"Yes, well, aging tends to make safe more of a circumstance and less of a choice, but I'll do my best to pull off second base with the black dress high heel combo."

"I'm sure you could pull off second base in a jogging outfit, Olivia Benson."

Olivia gave him a lifted brow and a smirk. "Sounds like you've thought of this before."

She could see him blush from the other side of the room.

"Benson, get out of here! I was just trying to compliment you."

**Don't stray;**

She grabbed her coat and rubbed the center of his shoulders as she passed by him. "Excuses, excuses. Goodnight, complimentor."

He engraved the warmth of her hand into his mind as he listened to her heels head towards the hallway. The stray thoughts accompanied by the jealous thoughts washed over him. Every time she was headed to the arms of another man, the thoughts became a territorial urge for him. Her heels stopped and he irrationally called for her in the midst of the painful moment.

"Liv?"

"Yeah," she said without lifting her head from the confines of her purse.

"I…"

He wanted to stop her from going, but there was only one excuse he could think of at the moment and those words wouldn't allow themselves to form on his tongue.

**Oh, say, say, say;**

**Oh, say, say, say;**

She then pulled the gun from her purse and clicked the round of bullets from the bottom of it.

"God, that made my purse so much lighter," she said as she walked back to her desk and placed the gun in her locked drawer. "I don't know why I carry that thing."

"Habit," Elliot quietly replied.

**Well, my kind's, your kind;**

"You familiar with purse guns too?"

"Yeah."

He answered her but his eyes were unfocused, as was his hearing.

"Stabler, go home, you're starting to agree with my smart ass remarks."

He snapped out of it. "Hm? Oh, yeah."

"What were you saying?"

The words stuck to the back of his mouth like a dry cotton ball. She stood in front of him dressed to the nines and his mind grew weak. Full make up, legs, smooth shoulders, curves hidden under a black cocktail dress, a face like that of a Madonna. Picturesque and sad. How could any man resist her?

"I…you…nothing. Don't forget we start early tomorrow."

**I'll stay the same!**

She watched him turn his back on her and sigh into a weary eye rub.

"You okay?"

She was inches from him and had he been a different man he would have begged her not to go.

**Oh stay, stay, stay;**

**Oh say, say, say!**

Her cell phone buzzed.

**Wait! He won't love you like I love you;**

"That's him…..

**Wait! He won't love you like I love you**;

…. I'll see you tomorrow."

"**Wait,**" he gulped. She looked into his eyes for the first time. It was an in, but he couldn't take path. "You're tag is sticking out."

He fixed the fabric. His hand touched the smooth skin on her back. It was calling for him to

**Stay, stay, stay**

**Oh, Stray, stray, stray.**

**Oh…**

"Get out of here, Benson."

**Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aps;**

**Wait! He don't love you like I love you!**

**Wait! He won't love you like I love you!**

His touch was griping, Olivia paused in her attempts to leave. She could sense there was a need for her to stay.

Munch interrupted the pull.

"Elliot, your old lady's on the phone."

Elliot gave Liv one more glance and lifted the phone from his desk.

**Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aps!**

Their eyes were held in a fixed stare. They both knew. They both chose.

"Kathy."

Olivia turned for the Elevator.

**Wait! They don't love you like I love you …**

He held the phone to his face and watched her disappear down the hallway.

**He won't love you like I love you;**

Olivia pressed the button.She could hear his voice.

"I'm leaving in five. Love you too, Kath."

**She don't love you like I love you;**

The Elevator doors opened.

**Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aps;**

Olivia stands in the Elevator. Her eyes appear troubled. "**Wait! They don't love you like I love you!"**

Elliot sits at his desk staring at her empty chair.

**He won't love you like I love you!**

**Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aps!**

Paths remained uncrossed

**Wait! They don't love you like I love you …**

The world stops.

"Is this where I go to report a rape?"

A young women soaked in tears and blood dropped to her knees next to Elliot's desk.

Olivia's hand stopped the elevator from closing and their eye met as they stood with the girl between them.

**Fade out on the shoulders of the shaking woman. Olivia's hand on the left side. Elliot's hand on the right.**

**AN: You thought I was gonna end it bad. No smut I know. Maybe next time. Peace out fools. Drop me some love'n **


End file.
